Dying Bloody Rose

Years…the happiest years of my pathetic life… I spent so many of them trying to endure my pain…my hatred…my hunger… But now everything seem so small comparing to this result…I have spent some years with Yuuki…finally…finally I have her close to me… The night she is close to my heart…my heart that beats only for her shake…my heart that belonged to her from the very beginning… My life is hers… From the very beginning it was hers…I am hers…and now finally she is mine too…
Sometimes at night I look outside the window of our bedroom and I see the stars I admire them…but at the same time I am afraid…I am afraid not of my instincts anymore but for our separation…I tend to turn and look at her sleeping form…her silk hair that are falling over her beautiful face and I smile a bitter smile…then I look back out of the window… She is a Pureblood…I know it…sooner or later…death will do us part. Not her death of course…but mine… The pain in my chest… It won’t be long…

“Mmm…Zero…?” Yuuki’s whisper is heard.
They are both lieing on their bed…their bodies are naked just like the day they were born…and they are close to each other as if they are seeking to become one… The body temperature is the only one to keep them warm under the light, white bed sheet that is covering them… She had her head on his chest and her chocolate hair was flowing on it like a waterfall of silk…and he had his arm around her waist… Outside is a calm night…it is snowing…but the window it was open and the flimsy, white curtain was waving with the night breeze like the hand of some forgotten ghost…that as waving to you…begging you to follow…
“…Are you aright…? Are cold? I can close the window…”
Zero looked at her.
“No…” he whispered softly rubbing her arm slowly, “Wind doesn’t bother me… I am fine…I was just thinking…”
She smiled a little and raised her head to look at him in the eye.
“About what?” she kissed him on the lips once.
“It is not important… Don’t worry…”
She ran her fingers through his silver hair…and he closed his eyes… Her touch…was always so magical to him…so…soft and gentle… But the pain in his heart was far too much… He knew that his time was close… They had spent years together…every night she was sleeping in the same bed with him…her warmth seemed to be calming his frozen heart… For the first time he felt loved…he felt like actually valuing life…
“Zero…?”
He looked at her and smiled a small smile. He was never able to smile a big, a warm, smile like she was…Her smile was always so beautiful… He on the other hand had lost his ability to laugh…the day he had become a vampire…the day that he lost his family… Her smile…oh, her smile was…
“It’s nothing…” he whispered again…
He was lying and he knew it. He could feel his heart hurt again. He had spent some wonderful years with her but…while she was a Pureblood and she would live…and live…and live…even if it took her thousands of years she would still live. He was only a Turned vampire…he would die one day and unfortunately…that day was close… But how could he tell her that? How can he tell her that he is dying? How could he tell her?
“It’s nothing…” he repeated, “Can you please come closer to me…? Closer…”
They came closer to each other…they hugged and kissed…

Yuuki…I know that you haven’t cleared up in your head what you want… Part of yourself is still dedicated to him…to your brother…I am sorry Yuuki…I can’t become him and I don’t want to… This is all I have to give you…unfortunately this few things I have to give you…this little happiness I can provide you…is about to end…my time is coming…I know it…I can feel it… I am not afraid nor sad for my life…I knew it anyway…what I am truly sad for is…that I’ll have to leave you…I’ll have to leave you forever and nothing can stop that… I’ll never feel your gentle hands touching me…I’ll never see your smile again…that’s what saddens me… Only that…

“Zero…do you…want my blood…?” she whispered again…
Yes…indeed Zero wanted it…he wanted her blood as much as he wanted her…as much as he loved her…but what would be the point anymore?
“No…not tonight…” he said in a low voice.
His crystal-colored eyes were sad as always…as if the color in them was the result of the tears that were gathering inside them and never fell…
“Liar…” she whispered.
“Yuuki…”
“Please Zero…don’t hold back…I want you to take it…”
The call and the desire were too much…Zero leaned his head…and ran his tongue lazily on her long, white neck and then he sank his fangs in it… The ruby, warm liquid came out of the wound…and he started to swallow…one sip after the other… Some of it ran out, on her long neck or on his chin… When he took his fangs out of it he let his tongue run lazily on her wound…licking the remaining blood. The wound healed rather quickly. She was a Pureblood after all… She looked up at him with a smile and licked the remaining blood from his chin and neck. Zero closed his eyes…allowing the delight of her warm tongue take over him…

Ah, Yuuki…how am I going to tell you…how am I going to tell you…that I am not going to be around you for too long…?

“Yuuki…” he whispered
“Zero…”
Both of them hugged closer…they needed to be closer…they would become one….
“Yuuki…”
“Yes…Zero…?”
“I want you to know that…no matter what I love you…no one and nothing will ever change that… Neither time…nor death…nor anything will change that!”
She smiled to him and nodded…Then rested her head on his chest again and closed her eyes…she just murmured in her sleep…and she was still smiling… Even in her sleep…she was smiling… Zero sighed and kissed her sweet-smelling hair…then rested his head on top of hers…and closed his eyes too… Outside was snowing…

The next morning Zero was up first as usually. Usually he was up first and he was preparing breakfast…for the two of them… He was oiling the morning tea when he felt another pain in his heart. It was as if his heartbeat was painful to him! It was getting all the more closer… closer and closer…
“Zero…”
He turned his head around and saw her coming to him. He smiled to her.
“Good morning…Yuuki…”
He hugged her and kissed her on the mouth… He pulled back and looked deeply in her wine-colored eyes…
“Zero? Is there something in my face?” she giggled.
“No…it is just…that you are really beautiful… Come…breakfast is ready…”
They sat on the table and they start eating. Zero knew…he knew that he wouldn’t be around for too long…he was sure that Yuuki knew as well that he wouldn’t live so long as she would…however…could he tell her…that the time had come? Could he really tell her that he is dying? This feeling was like a rock on his chest… He wished he could tell her…he wished he could take that burden away from his heart…but how could he? How could he give her sadness and grief? Her brother…Kaname gave her that! He didn’t want to do the same! He didn’t want to see her sad…
“How is your sickness though?” he asked her.

Yuuki…you have been feeling sick the past days…so I can’t possibly make you even sadder or even more worried than you already are! I wish I could tell you…I wish I could just tell you…and then…you would wrap your arms around me…and I wouldn’t have to deal with this alone…but how can I tell you that I…that I am dying? But is it the right thing to do? Is it right to hide it from you…? Kaname Kuran…he used to hide things from you too…but this is different! I don’t want to harm you like he did to you… Now he is gone…he dropped his heart into the fire…and you were so broken back then…how can I…how can I cause you this pain again…?

“It is better…I think it passed. I don’t feel it now.” She smiled.
“I am glad…” he whispered…
He stood up to wash the dishes…his heart ached again. It was harder and sharper than other times. So it was that close huh? The end was close…somehow he felt…calm… He could go to his family again…see his brother Ichiro…meet those who had gone…but he had to leave her…he had no choice but that…death was the only thing no one could defeat… Death is something no one could avoid…
“Zero…I’ll wash the dishes today”
“No… It’s…its okay…I’ll do it…I don’t mind”
“It’s alright, Zero. You seem a little tired. Go and have a nice bath. I’ll do it…”
Her eyes…her gentle touch on his back…her hand caressing his silver hair…he sighed
“Are you sure…?”
She nodded with her well-known smile.
“Yes. Go now…Zero…”
Zero walked away and went in the bathroom…when the door was closed behind him he leaned against it panting heavily! Each breath seemed painful and his heartbeat was getting weaker… It was getting closer…it was getting closer…
He grabbed his shirt at the place over his heart. He was dying…. He knew it… and Yuuki…Yuuki was… Oh, the pain was unbearable to think of her crying or agonizing over him…and her sickness…her sickness was… He sighed and then another pain made him gasp and then he felt weak… He started slipping down with his back against the door…till he sat on the bathroom floor. He was panting heavily and each breath seemed painful to him… He couldn’t bear to see her sad…he could bear everything…everything but that! He didn’t want to cause her pain…he didn’t want to cause her tears… It had been the most beautiful years of his life… For once he felt alive… He spent those years with her…he was with her and she loved him…even though she was thinking of Kaname… He was dying… He knew it…

“Zero…? Zero where are you?”
Yuuki had been searching for him…all day. She couldn’t find him…he wasn’t in the house. The house they spent their years together… It was a small house, nothing comparing to the Kuran Mansion at least but it was big enough for two… It was a house deeply in the forest…a forest of firs… It was beautiful as his love for her…
“Zero…?”
He was nowhere to be found. She felt a cold breeze and noticed that the door was open…and she saw…Zero’s footsteps on the snow… He was bare-foot judging from the footsteps… Had he left? Why? And why had he left the door open if he went for a walk? She followed the footprints… The sky was absolutely clear even even a single star didn’t stain tonight its black-blue color! Only a big, yellow full moon was hanging in the middle of the sky over the snow-powdered trees. And she was following the prints…then she noticed…some of them…some of them proved that he was staggering… Now she was really worried! She followed…and there he was! He was lieing on the snow…facedown!
“Zero!” she screamed and ran to him
She kneeled in the snow beside him and turned him around. She held his head on her knees and dusted away the snow from his silk hair and his face. His eyes were closed. He seemed as if he was sleeping…
“Zero! Open your eyes! Please! Zero! Zero!”
Then Zero’s eyes trembled a little and they opened. Zero looked up at the moon hanging over them…and then her. Her eyes were looking at him with angst and agony. A small smile cracked on his lips…
“It is…so…so beautiful…” he whispered.
“Zero…” she mumbled and her voice was trembling.
She could tell…she knew…she finally knew… He was dying… He knew it… And finally…she knew it too… The pain in his dying heart seemed less terrible now…the burden had finally left him… He raised a hand and touched her cheek…he whipped one of her tears away.
“Shhhh…” he whispered
She put her hand over his! Tears were falling from her eyes…hot and salty…
“Yuuki…please don’t cry… It’s okay…really…it would happen one day…we both knew…”
“Why didn’t you tell me! Why!” she was crying.
Zero…he was always suffering…without she knowing a single thing!
“How could I…my beloved Yuuki…?” he whispered
His eyes were already half-lidded from death. His voice seemed to be coming out weak…weak like a dying man would…
“Yuuki…you are so beautiful…”
His hand caressed her cheek. All the signs on him…proved death…then why…then why was his hand so warm? He was walking in the snow…barefoot! He was wearing a single brown pair of pants and a white shirt! Then how…how was it possible for his body to be…so warm…so…lively warm…?
“You gave me…the most wonderful years in my life…you made me feel loved…you gave me a place to live…and now…now you are giving me a place to die…please…don’t cry…don’t cry for me…”
“Zero…”
“Shhhh…” he whispered again…
He was dying…at last the time had come…his pain would be over…the only pain remaining…was the pain of losing her…he loved her…he loved her…
“I’ll go ahead…and I’ll be waiting for you…to the other side…no matter…how many…centuries…will pass…I’ll be…waiting…for you…Yuuki…”
He devoured her name on his tongue…the last thing he wanted to utter… His hand traveled on her body…her cheek…her neck…her arm…her stomach…her chest…as if he wanted to touch her…one last time…
“I gave you one part of me…” he whispered with a small smile, “Please…take care of it now…cause…I won’t be there…to do so…”
She was crying…he whipped her tears away…he didn’t want to see her cry…
“Please…help me…stand on my feet…please…”
She did so…supporting him she helped him stand up again… He looked at her…the moon was reflected in his eyes…those beautiful crystal eyes that seemed to be colored by tears he never shed… He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to him…and their lips touched in a passionate kiss… He pulled back and looked at her…
“I’ll walk ahead…and like I told you…I’ll be waiting…Yuuki…”
And he started walking away…towards the direction of the moon…the snow was like singing under his steps…he was walking…walking away… She anticipated seeing a diamond drop on his cheek glistering in the moonlight. She knew what it was…a tear… Finally he shed a tear after all… She was standing there watching him walking away… And the tears were flowing…hot and salty…

Soon, if you’d follow the footsteps, you’d see that the prints stopped after some time… as if he disappeared in thin air…and some meters away…his clothes…
He died… She knew it…

I’ll go ahead…and I’ll be waiting for you…to the other side…no matter…how many…centuries…will pass…I’ll be…waiting…for you…Yuuki… I gave you one part of me…Please…take care of it now…cause…I won’t be there…to do so…I’ll walk ahead…and like I told you…I’ll be waiting…Yuuki…

She remained there…with her hands over her heart.
“I’ll come…Zero…” she whispered in the serene of night…
She knew that she would follow him. She had made a promise to her brother and in order to fulfill that promise…the cost was her life. But not now…it was too early… not now… Zero was right for one thing. She put her hands over her stomach.
Two pairs of legs kicked…